


Living, Learning

by Miss Hiraya (Miss_Hiraya)



Category: SB19 (Band)
Genre: Bromance, Brotherhood, Family Fluff, Gen, Gen Fic, Have I told you I adore my OT5, Justin being the bunso, Not Beta Read, OT5 as Family, SeJoKenTell being the supportive bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29054376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Hiraya/pseuds/Miss%20Hiraya
Summary: 4 things Justin learns from his four brothers, and 1 lesson they take from him.
Relationships: Justin De Dios & Felip Jhon Suson | Ken, Justin De Dios & John Paulo Nase | Sejun, Justin De Dios & Josh Cullen Santos, Justin De Dios & Stellvester "Stell" Ajero
Comments: 8
Kudos: 6





	Living, Learning

**Author's Note:**

> hurray, the bunny is on a roll for OT5 today.

Justin learns to raise his voice from Sejun,

Sejun has a distinct voice out of all of them. It falls from a low, electric growl to a high pitched note that could strain and bend purposely to evoke emotions. Although his natural voice, the one that is not belting out or provoked, falls somewhere between quiet and one syllable short of breaking at the sheer intensity of it. Sejun's singing voice is a flavor of its own, sometimes owning an entire song like a full course meal or contents itself in the background like essential spice. His speaking voice is a force of nature, capable of shutting down tempestuous temperaments, loud anxieties and bursts of impatience, with either a rumbling of the earth or the shrill cry of a lightning strike.

And his words, reasonable or just plain undecipherable like a sage's who does not quite know how to articulate his wisdom well yet, they always resonate.

In theory, Justin supposes the leader's voice was born out the principle of necessity. He is a second child out of five children whose fiery wills are no less than crackling. He is used to being a steering voice, thus the ability to guide like a leader should do. But he is also used to _not_ being the final voice or not the vocal of anything at all, thus his meaningful silences and general assertiveness.

Justin is more used to calm, and compromise and acquiescence. He is the youngest of three brothers, born to parents who are steadfast like rocks against flowing streams. There was no need to raise his voice, although when he wanted to show something he knows his family will notice anyway even before words come out. Outside their home, he is taught diligence and hardwork enough that he makes his patience and perseverance speak results.

Inside their circle of five people of different walks of life, it is easy to get swept away by the currents of their voices and presence. They do not know him like the backs of their hand, not intimately like his blood family anyway, and they are too knowledgeable of the same things in different angles to back down from their standpoints. It is not enough to be a rock when he is facing a torrent of waters from all directions, no. And for a while, he flounders like a stray pebble riding the current, going with the flow but desperate to find ground.

Sejun's voice echoes through him, blunt force as the grumble of thunder beckoning the downpour of rain, but gentle as leaves bending to guide droplets of waters down to riverbanks.

Justin learns to raise his voice, not to shout, not when it is not necessary (he has Sejun for that, or even Stell), but enough. Enough for him to stand alongside the cacophony of voices that sometimes have brilliant ideas, and sometimes maintain the curious kind of silences for a new suggestion. For Justin's voice to come through.

Justin learns to make himself heard, without Josh's persuasion talents because he is not charismatic like him at all, but with Sejun's conviction because it is easier and straightforward.

And it makes all the difference.

* * *

Justin learns the art of bargain from Josh,

Unlike most things that their oldest teaches him, this takes every cell of him to understand. Not the process, not entirely, but the reason. Because Justin is a selfless person, one who declares himself to be contented in living for other people. And he likes to remain that way because he has the means to and he thinks the world needs it.

On the other hand, Josh had been through lows and blows in life. With it comes empathy, nurtured from his innate kindness beforehand. Josh knows what it is like to live roughly, scraping through the day with only bare meal or two. He knows what it is like to be constantly looking for a way out, a second option, a back up plan if, when, things go south. He knows what it is like to have nothing at all, and his smiles and continued march in life make him all the more superhuman in Justin's young, sheltered mind.

His empathy makes Josh a little kinder, a little more understanding, and a little more patient. He knows the way of the streets, knows the different faces and the masks people try to wear to survive. He knows, and he tries, in his small but welcomed ways, to be that kind stranger in the passing lives of everybody else who are trying to _live._

Josh also insists the value of things, knowing once he had none of those at all. And okay, Justin can understand. Not entirely, no, he was born lucky enough to have a roof over his head, a whole and supportive family at his back, and the means to live including the small luxuries. But he can understand, in a way.

So it disturbs him, the way Josh deals out numbers half the original prices of goods. It embarrasses him, when Josh makes absolutely no remorseful thought of persuading the innocent saleslady into giving the lamp for almost half the given price, or charming the man peddling fruits into giving him extra mangoes or oranges. It confuses him, that most of the time he tries to deflect Josh's way of transactions.

Josh would smile at him later, when they are ways away from the rows of vendors to be heard. He pats Justin on the back, his tone almost infuriatingly patronizing if Justin did not recognize Josh's way of fondness underneath it. He tells Justin that he is a good kid, he really is. And Justin thinks, if he is a good kid then what did it make of Josh and his actions earlier?

But Justin cannot argue against him, so he keeps his questions silenced. Josh never stops on showing him how to do it, with a smile on his face for the strangers that he charms and a _different_ smile on his face for Justin and his naivety. Josh walks away at the end of their shopping trip, leaving Justin with the lamp he really wanted to get and two more mangoes excess of what he paid for. Along it were a couple of bills that he already counted off as spent earlier that morning.

Josh shows him how to haggle for prices but it is not just that, he thinks. Josh is kind and empathic, and he teaches Justin to be selfish but it is not as simple as it sounds either. Josh teaches him to be kind, yes, kinder to others and kinder to himself. Because he believes Justin is a good kid, and he thinks good kids like him are rare and therefore walking targets for others.

Josh teaches him not to begrudge people for being a little more selfish, a little more conniving and sly, and a little more unreasonable when they inevitably try and take from Justin more than they should. Because Josh knows what it feels like to be at the end of all ropes, to scrape through life with dirt on the hands and hunger in the stomach. People, they try to live, some exerting more effort than most. Sometimes, it forces them to lie and take and more.

People, they are human and so is Justin. But that does not mean he should be a pushover. Justin understands that at least, and he tries to keep that lesson in mind as he carefully tucks the spare change to his pocket.

And he feels less empty then.

* * *

Justin learns to cook from Stell,

Stell is a heart worn on a sleeve. He is bright and warm, and he is also dark and fiery. Stell is soft, and kind and fragile. He is also fierce, outspoken, decisive and strong. And from Stell does Justin learn how to cook.

He learns from Stell that cooking is not easy, and it is a necessity. It looks like a thing for the artsy people, but Justin learns it is also methodical. It allows all kinds of combinations, imaginations, and possibilities to satisfy human appetite and yet it also maintains a certain kind of convention, of rules and traditions.

(Like there are many ways to cook and present an egg, but there are rules to make the egg edible and probable for consumption.)

When Stell teaches, he is patient and lighthearted, funny and charming. He chuckles when he points the knife just a few degrees dangerous, and he does not mind the mess at all. The feeling is not unlike the way Stell laughs in the absurdity of his ideas and jokes, but laughs in pride and joy anyway. 

Stell is also strict and serious. Justin gets the tension and the seriousness belying the steady hand and the simple instructions guiding him. It is not unlike the way Stell drives them to another round of practice, and another and another, until they get the right step and right timing.

Stell encourages Justin to make happy mistakes, steers him away from dangerous ones, and he makes Justin love the art of it easily. However, as most things Stell embodies in pairs (different sides, same coin), Stell also shows him the rules, makes him appreciate the lines that needed to be treaded so his creativity lives in possibility and not a distant, impossible reality.

Justin learns to appreciate the beauty of method and creativity, of rules and improvisation, and of order and chaos coexisting together because Stell is the same man embodying different sides of the same coin, and because Stell is the one who taught him how to cook.

And his perspective grows a little broader.

* * *

Justin learns frustration from Ken,

He is not taught, but simple it is what Justin learns from being exposed to one Felip Jhon Suson. Ken is not a troublemaker, of course not. In fact, Tatang dubbed him as his well-mannered child out of all of them, filling an important role to what he envisioned the group to be consisted of. The staff adores him. He is easily the one that attracts attention from the fans at one glance alone. Ken is everybody's favorite, the de facto youngest member, and nobody knows that fully than the group itself.

Still, Ken is a work in progress. And Justin finds himself frustrated like the rest.

He would see Stell shaking his head with a growl, Josh sighing and letting silence boil his temper down, and he would see Sejun clenching his jaw in a way the dentist would smack him for- sometimes becoming the rumbling start to painful confrontations (the thunder beckoning the downpour of rain).

And still, none, even Justin himself, would ever say they were tired of him. For the others, it is already easy to figure out the reason. For Justin, it is not. It boggles his mind how easily Ken evokes such tendencies from all of them at all.

For a long time, Justin just let the mystery be. It did not exactly matter to him, the reason and the cause for every action that he makes. After all, it is only important to him that he sees Ken from tight-lipped indifference and mountain-high walls to recklessly loud laughters and hints of open vulnerability showed to them in gradual progress.

When Diko steps into his room- empty bucket of green paint that was apparently to be used for something else that was definitely _not_ of Justin's business- shaking his head and looking at him with an expression eerily close to Josh's look, but with less unreserved words,

\-- but jokes about stealing the bucket of paint Justin brought for himself anyway,

When he remembers the rare time Kuya stormed into his room for getting scolded at Justin's expense,

\-- only to cave in an hour later for Justin's six year old self wanting to sleep beside him _because the storm was loud_ ,

When he sees how Sejun rolls his eyes at the antics his younger sisters get into, an annoyed vein twitching in his jaw everytime they tease his mothering tendencies instead of giving it the seriousness it most times deserves,

\-- but catches them everytime they get into trouble and heartaches anyway,

When he sees Stell never hold back on his anger but also forgives and apologizes in the same honesty and intensity, knowing better than to treat Ken like an innocent child,

\-- and still is the first to tell everyone how proud he is of Ken, his best friend,

When he sees the staff, the look on their eyes gleaming in pride every time Ken makes conscious effort to try not to be late anymore, or be more present in the interviews, or when Ken shuffles to them with shy smile, and a short but well-meaning gratitude for everything they do,

That is when Justin gets it.

Justin learns frustration from Ken, but it is not just the shallow kind. It is one born out of extended patience, and understanding, and stubbornly wanting to take care of somebody who was decidedly not used to that form of affection.

It also comes from wanting to cheer for someone and their journey to become a better person. Frustration that only wants betterment for someone else. Frustration that comes with learning how to feel responsible for other people.

Most importantly, Justin learns the patience of an older brother, and the patience to watch the first petals of cherry blossom to bloom on an unsuspecting spring. Because Ken, for all of his flaws, is a beautiful cherry blossom tree that only shows himself to the very few people close to his heart. And Ken, for all his efforts in trying to be better for himself and for others, is worth the wait.

And he is forever thankful for the honor.

* * *

They learn that Justin asks questions.

If you ask them, their youngest asks **t** **oo** many questions. Nobody is an exception to Justin's endless conquest of _why?s_ and _how?s_ And most of the time it is okay, occasionally annoying. Many things Justin asks, they normally do not pay a second glance to. Some things just come naturally to them, after all.

Like why Sejun just casually raises his voice even when calm,

Or how Josh just _knows_ when somebody is trying to con him,

Or how Stell knows when to stop sprinkling in the pepper or why onions need to be chopped a certain way for a certain dish,

Or why Ken takes time to warm up to people, and how Ken can survive without human contact for _that_ long.

How were they supposed to answer him, in a way his inquisitive, rational mind will accept?

So they don't answer him, not in these things that require no words for explanation. Instead, they show him, patiently, clearly, believing Justin will understand with the help of the big heart and intelligent mind of his.

And for things that they do have answers for- the ways how to take care of your voice, the ways to knowing which deals were the best, how certain things should go in and outside the kitchen, and ways to keep yourself preoccupied-

They answer him.

And later, they muse the question to themselves, realizing how they never seemed to question most things that they are used to doing. They try to answer each curious question, eventually learning the beauty of the process and intricate wisdom of things.

They begin to appreciate them, the things they once took for granted because they never really had the reason not to. They learn to appreciate how far they have come from that blank slate and unbiased view of the world. Most importantly, they learn to appreciate the little things- the small bits that make up for the big things; the big things make them who they are now.

And it makes life a bit more meaningful.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: this was written way before I got to watch Ken's birthday fb live special. My notes clearly wrote on Ken's part "Justin learns responsibility from Ken", where I'm supposed to write how Justin learns rose be an older brother figure whenever Ken is around.
> 
> When I finally for to watch the fb live, where Justin's exact words were how he was thankful for making him feel like a Kuya, I liferally squirmed on my bed.
> 
> I then finished Ken's part in under five minutes. The bunny was hella proud for that headcanon, not that she helped me how to write it.


End file.
